Nah, seriously... Time to stop being such a loser...

I am a bit sick at the moment, got this dry throat thing and all this snot and gollies and shit when I wake up.

I went fishing yesterday and caught my dinner, what a fucking legend (see photo above)

Watched the rugby last night and the Aussies gave the South Africans a 49-0 lesson in how to officially get your ass kicked. Shame we didn't do it to the Kiwis, but the Springboks are a pack of cunts and it is always good to humiliate em.

During the game, I met a lovely girl from Austria. I actually remembered her name so I must be fairly interested in her. We were talking and crap and after the game we left shooters and went to Red Rock which was like a million times better than shooters, it was the after party for the Option 1/4 Pipe Battle at SnowPark.

Things were going good, and like just about every dude in the place was trying to hit on her. I went to the bar (what a shock aye) and there was this english bird who was prety smashed, about 5'3" (fucked if I know how tall that is officially and in english, but I am 178cms and she coulda sucked my collar bone just standing there - I was gonna say sucked my nipple just standing there, but then I realised that that is pretty fuking short, actually she was pretty fucking short now that I think about it, so yeah, she probably coulda sucked my nipple just standing there cos her head came up to my shoulder). Anyways, she was looking at me and I was like "what" and she would look away and move closer and rub her boobs onto my arm and I was "aherrmmmmm... okaaaayyyyyy" and I was looking at her like WTF and then she was just about dry rooting my leg and her eyes were rolling around in her head and I dropped a subltle hint I was with this hot Austrian by putting my arm around her and talking in her ear.

So the night progresses nicely and I think I am doing well with Miss Austria and then it is time to head off cos all the bars shut in Wanaka at like 3am or something.

Anyways, we share a pie (aww, how romanitc haha) and then I drive her home. I hit her up for her number and she is like "Ahhhh, okkaaayyyy" and I was like WTF? De ja vu? But she gave me her number, dunnow what to do but? Like if she was keen, I guess she would have been like "can I get your number" or "you are the coolest guy I have ever met, we should meet up again" or something like that. Alas, she didn't and I didn't even get a good night kiss... Gay!

So I pose the question: Why is it we very rarely take the sure thing (think the very drunk 5'3" pommy minger with massive tits and ass which is wider than she is tall whose eyes rolling around in her head) AND go for the chick every dude is chasing (think Miss Austria)?

A free "My Girlfriend's a Bitch" t-shirt to the person who can best explain this to me. Send all responses to:

youAreNotTheOneWhoIsGayDave
...ChixAreGayAndHereIsWhatYou
AreDoingWrongYouLoser
@memberclothing.com