Ok, so I'm YOOOOO...

This one fuck I know called me the gayest straight guy ever... you can send him hate mail here

Whatever!

Ok, so tonight. I went to Shooters in Wanaka. It was shit when we got there, and it was shit when I left, the only difference was I arrived with 1 dude and left with 2 chix.

Cool right?

Wrong!

Ok, so the first girl (names have been changed to protect the whatever) left and walked home on her own, so this left me and girl number 2 (number ranking order in order of hot ness and "I wanna bang ness" have been changed to protect the no so hot).

We were walking and she was like "you rock, you always make me smile blah blah blah (it is blah blah cos I stopped paying attenting when I realised she didn't wanna have sex) and stuff.
Um... oh yeah! She was saying stuff like "So and so thinks you rock and so does whatsies face (names have been chaged in the hope that I can still get a hand job or even a blow job or sex off one of the unmentionable contenders) thinks you rock blah blah

So we get to "I probably don't stand a chance"'s place and she was like "thanks for the walk home, you didn't have to, byeeeee..."

Two words: WTF?

So yeah, am I the gayest straigh guy ever. I need sex before next Friday to prove I am not.

If I turn out to be gay, I am gonna kill myself.

P.S. Does paying for sex count?

Any emails to isDaveAHomoOrIsntHeAHomo@memberclothing.com will be put up some where for every cunt to see.

Eat a dick.

Finally found a House

Sharing it with 10 other people which is pretty fucken gay. Some of the cunts I really like, others I don't know enough, but I don't really like and others I dunno if I like em or not.

It is a pretty big place, I will of course get some photos. I was thinking of buying a dodgy jacuzi for like $600 and then selling it when we leave. The house doesn't have a bath and I have to share a room with someone which I am fucking spewing about, as much as I like some of the people, I dunno how long I will stay there.

I can't wait for the season to start and some cunts hurt themselves and go home early so more places become available.

It is raining tonght and snowing up the mountian. I was going to go to Concrete Peak with Tyson, but the cunt sold me out to these chicks so he can go eat a fucking dick. I might go up by myself tomorrow and ride freshies, and then everyone can eat my dick.

I also got Snow Chains and Roof Racks for my car today which cost me like $700. If cunts think I am going to be their chaufer and pay for everrythtin and drive em around and them not pay anything, they are fucken kidding themselves.

Got Fucken YOOOOO!!!

Ok, so tonight was my sisters birthday, but cos I wasn't with her, I went out and celebrated with some mad bitches from where I am staying and partied with them til all hours of the morning.

The night wasn't bad, the Wallabies (Aussies) smashed the Poms in the Rugby, which is always a good thing. We also went to a couple of (I think) ok bars... Well the bars them selves are nothing special, there are like 6 places in Wanaka in which to go, being:

• Red Rock
• Shooters
• Speights Bar
• Bar Luga (probably some gay name of the Beluga Caviar or some shit)
• Apartment One
• Some other shit bar

So we started off playing drinking games, went to speights, watched the assies smash the poms, took the piss out of the poms, got drunker, went to, I think, Red Rock, but we might have stopped by Shooters but I can't remember. At Red Rock, we got more smashed, I think I spent about $105NZD which is pretty fucken gay considering how many drinks I got in return (which was fuck all if you didn't already guess).

One of my friends got some pretty funny photos from that night, I will try and get em off her and stick em up here, if I can't, you will just have to trust me that we was drunk.

From there, we went to Bar Lugie and smashed a couple more drinks before either that closed or I got barred for being too durnk. I was pretty fucked up though and it was probably best we left when we did.

On the way home, I did a back flip off this shit. Fucken stupid of me cos I was so drunk, but it seemed like a good idea at the time (like most things do when you are drunk - eating a Kebab, picking a fight with a bouncer cos he won't let you in cos you are too YOOOOO, driving home or taking the ugly one for a mate so he can root the good looking one).

I also gave my friend my Credit Card so I could lose it.

When I got back to where I am staying, I was emptying out my pockets for some reason or another and I couldn't find it and I was like fuck so I looked up the number for my bank on the net and I cancelled my card, and like 2 mins later my friend rocks up with my card.

The conversation with the bank fucks was pretty funny cos I was so drunk and I couldn't remember my 8 digit customer number. Fuck em, I pay enough in bank fees.

So I cancel my card, and then I ring the cunts back and I wanna un cancel it but they are like no you can't cos it is a business card and I was like "I promise it was me who canceled it like 2 minutes ago, it must be in the computer. Just ask everyone there if a drunk guy canceled his card like 3 minutes ago".

They were like still "nup" so I was like "I understand that the rules are the rules and you have to play by em, but I think they are pretty gay rules cos not that many drunk people would be cancelling their card from New Zealand, but I understand, I just think they aren't very good rules..." and effectively went on like this for the next couple of minutes.

Ahh, whatever, I was drunk, woke up sober, everyone said I looked shit and I didn't actually feel that bad and had Bacon and Egg Rolls for breakfast.

Waiting for the mountains to open

Ok, so woke up drunk.

Again.

Had Enchiladas and Greek Salad for lunch. Had a bottle of Red wine and this Lamb shit with potatoes, mushrooms and pesto for dinner. Only spent like $25 on food today.

Not heaps going on in Wanaka at the moment, there is officially one week until the mountains open up here.

Last night was Thirsty Thursdays down at Shooters. They have 3 buck Jim Beams and Coke in bottles and other drinks from 9pm til like 1am. We were playing a drinking game as a warm up and it was shit cos there were too many people, so I invented one. Well I think I I invented one. The rules are simple, you need 2 die, 2 glasses with 5 shot markers evenly spaced along the length of the glass and a group of people each with a minimum of 12 beers each.

Ok, so you roll the the first die, and that is the number of "shots" of beer you have (so you fill it to the 3rd line if you roll a 3). Then you roll the second die and that is the person along from you going in a clock wise direction who gets to join you for that many shots. If you roll two 1's then everyon has to skull a bottle of beer. It is a good quick game. We just have to figure out how to get chix naked when they play so we are going to work on expanding the rules.

In the other drinking game, it some how came up if we had anal fuck before. One of the chix said yes and I was trying to get her drunk all night, but it didn't work.

Shit.

I think we are all going out tomorrow night, so I am going to have another crack. I might buy a bottle of Cart Wheels (Wild Turkey) and get her drunk and see if I can fit my doodle in her pooper.

Whats the difference between a good and shit day?

About 6 degrees...

Ok, so it is pretty cold and rainy today, about 2 - 3 degrees. We aren't doing much toinght, gonna get a bit YOOOOO later tongiht which should be a nice change.

Went looking at houses today, fuck it is so gay. I wish all you cunts would buy more shirts so I can afford to buy a place... Or get me to make you a website.

Looking for a place

Fuck I hate real estate agents, they are cunts. I have been looking for a place and checking out all of the places that manage rental properties here in Wanaka and they just don't care, you ask if you can leave your number and if they can give you a call as soon as something becomes available and they are like "you should just check back every couple of days".

I feel like saying to the faggots, "you should come eat a dick every couple of days you fucking cock sucker", but I don't think that will get me very far.... It would make me feel good though, and that is what is most important.

WOO HOO, in Wanaka

Arrived in Wanaka to killer skies, met a pretty cool group of people who were playing drinking games and who pretty much took me under thier wing (awwwwww).

Um, there isn't any snow and since that is the case, we did what any group of self respecting / abusing snow bums would do and that was get drunk. We went to Shooters bar cos they had $3 drinks (jim beam in a bottle) which turns out to be about $2.50 with the exchange rate so I guess it cost $35 to get well pissed.

SOOOO fucken happy to be here aye, I just can't wait to get on the snow. I am a bit worried about my knee cos we played a game of socontainerer and I sorta hurted my medial ligament (I think) and it is causing me a bit of grief.